Monday, 1 December 2014

There's Alot More To Know.....You Know.

I catch you staring at me and I shyly smile back at you but I don’t let our eyes lock  , just not long enough for you to know me, Just enough to let you see my beautiful almond shaped eyes and maybe let you feel the  intensity in which they can pierce .I see you like what you see and you hope to like what you get to know .There’s a lot more you know

I’d like to think I am mysterious  ;-)  …not always to me though, you see sometimes I feel like an open book, an unprotected  document  for people to read what they perceive , and write what they conclude .Oh well… but that’s only sometimes, it happens to the best of us I guess! But to you I can be mysterious, if that’s what you like.

But I promise you my mind is mysterious, Lol (hides face in palms) ….oh yes that am sure, even I get intrigued by it. It’s never quiet up here; to be honest I think I talk more in my mind than I would to you. Am still trying to tame my imaginations hmm…. But am thinking it’s good to live a little on the wild side. I create my own tiny world, where I am in charge, am the boss .I will let you in once in a while, you will love the adventure, I promise. I hope my mind will not overpower you.

I used to be afraid of height; I still am, but heck…. How else can one live life if not sky high, like a kite up high…hahahaha. If I was to compare myself to an animal, I would be a Gazelle. I really don’t know why, I just think I move like one. Calm in nature but a force to reckon with …that is if you want to make me your prey(hides face again)!I Will laugh at most of your Jokes…I promise.

I know you feel it, my heart pounding, it gets intense sometimes. Av been told I am very transparent….. I've tried to hide my emotions, not to be too emotional and boy did it change me.  I did not want to show pain, I was afraid to express my fears; no I could not allow them to see distress, I did not want to hear what unfortunately we are labelled….. ‘Nags’. Sadly it changed me! It changed me so much that I did not know how to relate with my emotions, I lost the authenticity of my soul.  I wasn't sure if I was loving or being clingy, I was afraid to give more than was asked because maybe it would be too much….Its not fun just doing your duty. Wow…breath in breath out. It’s a good sign though, the fact that you feel the pounding, the heartbeat. maybe you have the power to bring it all rushing back. I think some of us were just created to feel it all, the good the bad. And wouldn't you love that, no walls, no barriers, nothing in between, just pure and true emotions, just imagine ,pure infusion of souls.

But I still get afraid; you will know when I feel it, that part I can never hide. Just know that when I do ,I will run to you not away from you, so don’t turn me down, don’t look away .Just hold me, Because  all that I crave is the security in your embrace, just the illusion of you building a fortress around me. Don’t scold me because am in a panic, just don’t let me go through it alone and I promise you that I will never let you face fear alone, If you let me.


Would you help me find me…. I will help you. I was created to do that, I am your helper. I promise you no one dull moment. I have  been told I am too spirited, I hope you don’t mind that.

Always

Luv- Ish

1 comment: