The year is coming to an end. If someone cared
to ask me ,I would wish for an extension, maybe a few more months, if that was
possible …then maybe I would be able to salvage the time I feel I wasted,
because suddenly as the year closes ,seems like my minds sees it the perfect
time to come up with a number of grand ideas on what I could have should have
done ,somehow I feel like with a little bit more time I could tie off some
loose ends ,fill cracks here and there and viola be ready for the new year.
You see this was the year of my breakthrough,
I was expecting my victory .To be honest, I have been so expectant, for
something exceptional. Every day I woke up in the morning hoping that this
would be the day that I would finally get that feeling. The feeling that today would finally be the day that I would be ready
for take-off, that I would finally know the taste of victory….I mean ,who doesn’t
want to win. Sometimes I feel like I could almost grab it, but its elusive,
slips right through my fingers every time.
So I wonder will I wake up one day and feel
like I have arrived, like I finally won and I would not have to have this empty
longing ,this urge that I could do better, that I needed to be on my feet…to
rush it because apparently time was not
on my side. Constantly going back and forth in my mind, wondering what magic
ingredient I needed to add so that finally I could wake up to a sigh of relief
and finally say I made it….I have victory…I won.
But what exactly is to win?When do I sit
back and say now I have it. Does it always have to be a vicious cycle…..was I a
total looser this year? Did everything I did flop?
Come to think of it, when I look back at
this year 2014,I might just have had some major breakthroughs in my life. Of
course I did not find a bag full of money dropped at my front door…(yah I fantasize about that ,don’t we all) …but honestly I did have good in my life.
When I look back at the years, I would choose me now over any other era in my
life. In fact when I look at things closely, I have had a series of victories over
the course of this year. I might not yet have my dream job but at least I got a
promotion ...sort off and with that came the move to a different city, which I honestly Love.I enjoy learning and experiencing this new culture, I get to be close to the ocean…and not to mention the
new friends I have made.
Every time I woke up in the morning; that
was a win for me. When I got through the toughest times in my life, I won.Every
time I blocked negative thoughts and switched to speaking good into my life I
won. I was counted a winner when I accomplished my tasks for the day no matter
how little .I might not have finalized on everything
I started, but I started something, so that counts….I know I have the courage
and help to finish.
My greatest blessing this year is that, I
have grown closer to myself; I know that's a break through and in here emerges
a confident woman .Am no longer afraid of fear because what it simply means to
me is that I need to just push through it and will most definitely be
pleasantly surprised at what lies on the other side....that's courage. I honor myself because I know I
was cut out of a Rock that is higher than I .There are no timelines, there’s only
God’s time. So I will give myself a pat on the back, and wake up again to
receive my victories.
Encourage yourself and be proud of
yourself, you are winning.
Luv
Ish
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