Calling Me!

As I woke up today morning, I could hear it, calling, shouting out to me and telling me to come yonder, to cross over. I take a breath of the morning freshness but quickly enough it becomes stale ,I have tasted this air before ,I loathe  the feeling  that is just the same as yesterday, and the day before ,I have come to hate familiar noises  only now louder ,I swear I can hear all the cares of this world, each and every one of them announcing their importance. Am shouting too, I think am trying to say something, but I can’t hear me, nobody can hear me.

There it is again, the nudging, the whisper ….I hear it “Go Deeper”. Then it’s numb again, it’s buzzing again. Oh…I would give anything for a near death experience right now; then maybe just maybe it would wake me back to life (weird thought).I figure it’s better to feel the chilling cold kiss of death or the burning sensation of life through my veins …just not lukewarm, nobody likes lukewarm!

“Come yonder to higher places” I have heard you call before, I hear you call every morning. I look into your eyes; I feel your touch, your arms rubbing through my back, my aching back…my aching soul. Where do you hide? I am weary, I fall through the maze, and it’s dark…now I can’t feel you. Your gone, you have forsaken me…my forsaken soul. I can’t keep up; I was hurt in the fall. So I will stay here, scorched by the sun.

But I long to be in the shadow, to dwell in the shelter. How can I find a fortress where I will get refuge? When I get there I will be safe, covered by your feathers, protected from the terror by night. Be my dwelling oh Most High, I pray you bear me in your hands, like a child. Teach me to set my love upon you and only you, May I know your name, set me upon high places Oh God. Satisfy me with long life…to live…to live oh God. How do I get there, to the Mercy Seat? Answer me as I call you in my day of trouble.Hide me under your wings. I don’t want to find my way out…not out of your presence ,may I stay forever lost .May I never be found again.

I hear you calling me, I don’t know how to answer…help my unbelief, I am broken,  my spirit contrite .

Lu -Ish