Been a minute, ok more than a minute.
Sigh…another big sigh!
I look at myself in the mirror, I have changed I know I have.
I don’t know yet how, I can’t tell yet if it’s for good or for bad, but in here
it’s not the same.
I see inside those big mellow eyes, piercing through to my
soul, searching every bit of me, ripping off the drapes, toppling and stumbling
over it, pushing all that stands on the way….. Sigh!
I don’t think I even want to understand this change and no I
am not really afraid of it, I just want to float in it, get lost in it and play
with it…I want it to be bigger than me, much much bigger than me.
I am not anymore prettier than I used to be or less annoying,
not stronger either, I still don’t know any better….. Maybe my frame much
frailer.
I have changed because now I allow myself to get lost in
desire, to want and to crave; I feel every little emotion that passed through
my being not afraid even if it be of loss and pain. I catch myself daydreaming
and not afraid to ask that it would come to pass, to laugh at how ambitious I
am and believe that still I can.
I am passion in myself; I sing my stupidly self-composed songs
out loud. I laugh when I should cry and cry when I should laugh… I love my tears,
how they feel on my skin and how they taste on my lips. I want silence and
darkness where I can only see and hear me and the one greater than me
.I imagine Ice and fire just nothing in-between……..
Luv -Ish
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