Crazy way
to live..... It’s almost certain that you are in the right track, according to
the book that is. You haven’t got it 100% right yet but surely compared to “the
rest” you got your ways set on the right track. But why is it that something is
still amiss...why isn't life patting you on the back on just how on track you've been. Why isn't there a bouquet of flowery
happiness
at the end of everyday .
It’s all
too familiar to be afraid, not sure and angry.... The happy feeling is still strange.
Truth be told, it’s safer to not be that excited, not to expect so much good to
come your way. I think it’s the walls, the boundaries....they provide a safe zone,
this is how far you can go, spells it out too well how you’re supposed to live
your life, how it’s supposed to turn out. It’s better to know the outcome
anyway and maybe it’s not allowed, it’s wrong to step out of the boundary lines.
So who drew these lines ....who gave these rules that I live by. Deep down I
have a feeling all this is self imposed.
But this is
how I have always lived my life, I’d rather be warm and safe in these walls........doesn't matter if I am unsatisfied, it’s better to keep wondering what’s out there than
walk out and feel that fear.
But is it really
safe inside these walls...at the end of the day it takes alot for me stay
inside these lines. Inside here still there’s fear and uncertainty ...alot of
regret. What if’s and why not’s. I end up using too much energy just to stay in
place, too much emotions not to expect much. It’s a crazy spot to be.
Seriously,
I’d rather just break loose and live free in the big world, that way I won’t be
worried about how far I should go or if I can handle these much. I don’t want to live the life I am supposed to live ,I just simply want to live and enjoy my life.
No walls, no corridors, no gates... just open air and opportunity, wild stretches
and beautiful landscape. I want wonder and surprise. I want to give my all and
yes receive it all.
Luv Ish
